One new year’s eve

via Daily Prompt: Hopeful

20:00 HRS, 31st December

She looked at herself at the mirror, holding the new outfit, against her chest. She loved it.  She felt a rush of excitement as she thought of tonight’s plans.  It was new year’s eve. She and her husband were supposed to attend a party thrown by their close friend. Having had a very hectic schedule, at work, for the past few months, she looked forward to the party tonight. But the part she was waiting for the most, was the long drive after the party that her husband had promised her.

She looked at the clock on her dressing table. “He should have been back by now”, she thought. She walked towards the window and pulled the screens aside. The road, she noticed, was completely jammed. “Ah! He must have got stuck in the traffic. But he could have at least given me a call”, she sighed. Just then her cell phone rang. It played her favorite song, the one she had reserved for her husband. She answered her  phone eager to ask where he was, but she heard an unfamiliar voice at the other end. “Hello!”, said the stranger. The urgency and panic in his voice, gave her the shivers. She knew it then. She knew that something was wrong, really wrong.

20:25 HRS, 31st December

She had never cursed the traffic to the extent she did today. This was a matter of life and death and these silly party goers did not seem to understand. The driver looked at her through the rear view mirror. “Don’t worry. We’ll get there soon. I know the short cuts. Once we cross this main road, we’re clear”, he assured. She nodded her head in response, as no words seemed to find their way out. Her life had turned up side down in a moment. Scenes of what had happened in past quarter of an hour kept replaying in her head, as if her brain was asking her to come to terms with it.

Her husband had been in a car crash. The stranger on the phone had told her that the front end of the car was almost completely crushed. He also mentioned that pulling her husband from below the steering wheel was not easy. He told her that her husband was bleeding profusely and feared that he might have a few broken limbs. The kind stranger was taking him to the nearest hospital, which would take about three quarters of an hour from their residence, on a normal day. Today, she thought, it would take longer. The mere helplessness of having to simply sit this way, was torturing her.

21:00 HRS, 31st December

“We’ll be there in another 20 minutes”, said the driver. “Thank you”, she croaked. She was really thankful to him, as he came through a number of short cuts, she never knew existed. She had called her friend to say that they would not be attending the party. She told that her husband wasn’t feeling well. She had to keep her voice straight, hide the quiver in it, not let her tears escape as she heard her friend’s voice, so that their party would not be ruined. “The party”, she thought. Something that she was looking forward to, for the past few days, did not make any sense anymore. Everything looked silly in the face of death, she realized. “Death”. The word haunted her, as the driver relentlessly honked for the car in the front to move. She remember the words her mother always used to say, “Never give up. Being Hopeful and positive will always show you the way, even if the path seems like a dead end”. She wished her mother was right.

03:34 HRS, 1st January

The kind stranger, not a stranger any longer, left to his home. He had not only rescued her husband from the ruined car, but also, donated his blood to save her husband’s life. Her husband had broken his right leg and had dislocated his right shoulder.  Although the situation had taken a while to stabilize, his life was in no danger anymore. The doctors felt it was better  to keep him under observation for the night.

She now sat on a chair beside her motionless husband. As she looked at him, a lot of memories flashed in her mind. The day they first met, the day they first kissed, the days he comforted her after a bad day at work and then the promise of the long drive he had made. They would have been laughing together and making fun of each other, driving in their car, had things gone as per their plan. “Their plan”, she thought. She suddenly felt insignificant under the might of time. As she felt a wave of restlessness, her mother’s voice echoed again, “Being Hopeful and positive will always show you the way”. She placed her hand on her husband’s left hand and felt it’s warmth. She felt reassured.

07:15 HRS, 1st January

She was awakened by a grumbling noise that she heard at a distance. Suddenly, she said bolt upright. How she could have fall asleep, in such a situation, was a mystery to her.  Her husband was stirring, slowing waking up. As he opened his eyes, their eyes met. At no point in their life together, these past five years, did they take a look at each other, the way they did today. Her heart was thumping hard. “Everything”, she whispered. She then cleared her throat and said, “Everything is alright. There is nothing to worry. Just a broken leg and a shoulder dislocation.” His eyes widened as she spoke. She quickly added, “Like I said, you are fine. Everything is OK”. “You are safe”, she whispered, as she gently held his left hand. Tears, that had been held inside her all this while, now flowed down her cheek.

07:45 HRS, 1st January

The doctor and nurses had paid their visits, checking his vitals. Everything was fine, except, he would take a few months to recover from all his injuries. She sat next to him and watched him. “I am sorry”, her husband said. It looked like he was exerting a lot to speak. “Please, don’t speak”, she said. “Just take rest”, she added. “I promised to take you for a ride. I couldn’t”, he apologized. “Oh! You took me on a ride, alright! You did keep your promise”, she mocked smilingly. He gave a weak smile. “It is going to be hard, the next few months. With your work and my bed rest…”, he moaned. She put her finger on his lips to silence him. “We are ALIVE. There is a lot to be thankful for. I thought I would never see you again. I mean, never see you seeing me again. Does that make sense?”, she laughed. “Kind of”, he answered. “As long as we are alive, we can find a way”, she said. Her husband quietly listened to her. “As long as we are Hopeful, we will find a way”, she added. She thanked her mother, inside her heart. Her husband put on his wide smile and said, “Happy new year”. She bent down and gently kissed his forehead and wished him, “Happy new year, to you too”.

Yuhu!

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There is always hope

via Daily Prompt: Mope

Why do you Mope, Oh my soul?
Do not fret, for there is still hope.
Do not be afraid, do not try to elope,
remember that there is nothing that you cannot cope.

Like the morning sun, you shall rise,
far away from all your cries.
Your warmth will bind the world again,
Vanquish your fears and let go of all pain.

You, the Campion, will bloom once more.
Beyond every known horizon you will soar.
So much to explore and so much to feel,
Don’t let the past to not let you heal.

So why do you still Mope, Oh my soul?
Hush the storm within you,
You are the way and you are the hope.
Remember, there is nothing that you cannot cope.

-Yuhu!

Sleeping child

I wished to sing to a child, my child,
and make him enter the realm of blissful slumber, in my arms.
I wished to watch him as he sleeps,
to wait patiently for the moments of his smiles and frowns.
Oh what a joy would it be, to see a part of myself,
fall into a peaceful sleep listening to my melody?
It would bring a meaning to my life, I thought,
to my life, that revived another.

In the past few months that I have been carrying you,
Oh my beautiful baby, you have transformed me, body and soul.
My pain and discomfort evanesced with the very thought of your safety and growth.
I wondered if I could love another this way?
My heart replied, that you were a part of me, not another being.
That thought kept me going, as you flourished inside me.
I dreamt of being with you, holding your hand as you stand on your own feet.
In my reverie, I imagined how it would feel
as you would drift off to sleep after you suckle me.
I promised to never leave your side, to have my watchful eyes on you,
so that you would never stumble or fall.
To always be there by your side when you cry and to smile encouragingly as you succeed, was all that I wanted.
I sang to you, my love, as I carried you,
hoping that you would recognize my voice,
that no matter when, you would come to me for solace and support,
realizing that this voice belongs to someone, to whom you belong.

Where are you now, my little one?
Why have you chosen to fade away from my life?
A part of me is now gone, lost in a space where I cannot reach.
Why did you leave me my child, without a smile or a cry?
Would I have not nursed you or cared for you?
Would I have not loved you beyond anything or anyone else?
What were you afraid of?
Did you not recognize the love in my voice as I sang to you?
I would have done all that I could to protect you.
Why did you not trust me?
Did I not sacrifice many nights’ sleep for you?
Wasn’t your hunger mine?
Weren’t your wishes mine?
Then why did you lead me into this solitude?
You shattered my dreams, my child,
my dreams of watching you fall asleep in my arms
will never to come to pass.
All the melodies that I wanted to sing to you, are now burning lamentations.
I now sing into emptiness, can you still hear me?
Did you ever hear me?

Alone inside

I thought I was where you wanted to go,
Am I just a stone in your way?
Now I see you moving on,
Fading away into the lonely night.

As I see you disappear, a cold wind blows past me,
reminding me of the emptiness in my palms.
The hand that used to keep me warm is no longer around.
I want to run and reach out to you.
To hold your hand, once more, is all that I wish for.

I try, but I see that you hasten, looking and searching for something,
May be you are searching for your light,
for that hand which would make you feel warm.
I run towards you with all my might,
the cold wind burns my eyes.
I don’t want to close my eyes and lose sight of you.
But for a brief moment, I do, and I see what I want to see.

You holding my hand with a beautiful smile across your lips, as you look into my eyes.
I open my eyes, hoping to meet the scene that just flashed,
But now I see, you are standing far away, not alone, like me.
You have found what you wanted, the source of warmth meant for you,
As you now smile into the face in front of you,
I realize that your beautiful smile, the one that was once mine, is not meant for me anymore.

Am I no longer what you want or what you were looking for or what you need?
What am I then to you?
Am I just a stone in your way?
I want to be your warmth, please… hold my hand…
If I should close my eyes to see what my heart wants
then I will.
I will close my eyes forever.

-Yuhu!

Will anyone read my blog?

After months and months of a LOT of arguments within myself, I have FINALLY  taken the first step towards writing a blog (I cannot tell you how many times I got so close) !!! I think I deserve a big applause (clap! clap! clap!). I remember how I used to skeptically stare at my laptop screen, wondering, whether even a single person (apart from me, of course!) would read my blog.  A little voice in my head (mind, heart, intestines, whatever!) told me that it was alright, as long as I took the first step and kept going. I guess that’s the part of me with a halo on top- 😇 (“Well, it will be, if people do read what you write”, says the evil part – 👿 ). The truth is,  at some level, I am afraid if what I do would ever make a mark. Aren’t we all?

I remember doing things just for fun, when I was a little kid, absolutely not bothered by anyone else’s opinion. I wonder where the little child is now. I simply cannot find that child. When do other people’s judgments start becoming dominant? To think it could become more important than our own creative pleasure, is downright scary. I have a new mission now! Find the little child and let her have all the fun she has missed out, all these years (“Let’s see if that really happens,  Muahhahahaha“- 👿 ).

Thanks again, beautiful people, for reading my first post (tears of joy).

Yuhu!!