I was taking a walk this evening, lost, as usual within myself. The place was beautiful, with lots and lots of trees, birds chattering among themselves about their day, a cool breeze, rustling leaves… Just perfect! But there was a storm raging within me.
What I really want in life, is still a mystery to me. I see many people around, who are crystal clear, about what they want, how their life should be… All planned out with a timeline. But I don’t think I have a clue. Yes, there are many things that excite me, but I’m not so sure what my true passion is. I wonder if only I’m plagued by such doubts.
I kept walking along, looking at my feet, take one step in front of the other. I know that’s how life will unfold too, one step and then another. I’m ready to do this, but I wonder where I’ll reach. “What if I end up in a place I wouldn’t enjoy?”, my pessimist mind questions me. I have no answer.
I would’ve walked for about an hour, continuously probing into myself, asking all kinds of questions-“What if?”, “What next?”, “Why did I…?”, “How would I handle…?”… Lost in these thoughts, I didn’t realize where I was going. Suddenly, I heard a twig break, to my left, breaking also, my chain of thoughts.
When I looked up, I saw the diamond Sun. So beautiful and magnificent, as always, but not its usual curvy self. The trees had sculpted the Sun into a glowing diamond. I stood there transfixed. I had never seen the Sun in such a form before. It was new and refreshing. Also, reassuring.
I slowly turned around and started walking back home. The storm in me had calmed down. I had just realized something. All I had to do, was to see things from another point, from an unexplored point. At that moment, I felt, that I should regard life as a huge experiment, for me to know and understand myself. An experiment, where I may or may not figure out what the right constituents are, that would make my life’s chemistry perfect. The experiment itself would be fun, wouldn’t it? Yes, things may blow some times, but those falls and those dead ends, I’m sure, will give a new perspective, another diamond sun, to show me a better way. If there is a chance, for me to Recognize what the right equation of my life is, I am ready to make this journey joyfully, ready to learn, ready to be moulded and sculpted, to find a brand new avatar of myself. As long as I keeping trying, it’ll totally be worth it. Don’t you think?